Ok, we get it, you're having sex

It's easy to tell when a woman who's been through a sexual drought starts screwing again. How you ask. Maybe you should check out the t-shirt, the hat, the article she took out in the paper, maybe even the exaggerated gap legged walk. Yes ladies and gentlemen, when a woman has been through a sexual drought and gets some, she brags. Not only does she brag, she gloats, she practically freakin glows with self satisfaction. Every conversation "suddenly" contains hilarious sexual undertones.

Seriously, every conversation can in some way be directed toward her letting everyone know she got some. Here's an example,

me :"Did you know that Walgreen's has ice-cream on sale this week?"
Got Some: "Yeah, that'll be mighty good for eating,licking, sucking...."
Conversation trails off with giddy vulgar laughter
Here's another example

me: "Damn I'm tired this morning."
Got some: "We ain't gon talk about why I'm tired this morning"
Ha Ha Ha. Looking around for someone to slap five


We're happy for her at first. Everyone is entitled to getting some ass. We laugh at the jokes, that aren't actually that funny, and hope she keeps getting tossed up. Unfortunately, that happiness very quickly turns to annoyance. Day after day we hear some variation of the same tired jokes. We get tired of her talking so loudly about Kevin, Brian, or who ever. We listen to the endless discussions about crotchless panties and massage oil.

Damn, you haven't split the atom, fed every hungry person on this planet, cured AIDS, and then won the lottery. You had sex. Which is actually not that special. Calm the fuck down. It should be enough that you're happy for yourself, do you seriously need the affirmation of the masses? If it's that damn serious make sure to keep a "friend" on the side that meets those sexual needs. If you can't find one, get a good vibrator. If neither of those options are the one for you, then just shut the fuck up at work at least. Save the sex shit for your own time. Talk to someone who isn't getting some and is therefore in awe of the fact that you are. If that makes you feel good, then maybe you need to find someone else to rock your world. The sex should make you feel good enough. You shouldn't need a bunch of women oohing and ahhing at work to be the icing on the cake.